A few days ago as I was out shopping, I happened to bump into an old friend (we will call her V) of mine. I was pleased to see her after a long time and happened to notice that she was glowing. I invited her to share a coffee with me and she agreed. We placed our orders, a black coffee for me and herbal tea for her. I complimented her on how well she was looking and she blushed and said “I am getting married in three months”.
I congratulated her and asked her about the groom and she replied she had met him a couple of years back and they had been dating since then and he had only proposed to her a couple of months back. I asked her when the wedding was scheduled and she told me the wedding date was about three months from now. I then asked her how the wedding preparations are going on and she replied that they were going for a simple ceremony where she will shine as the main star.
I then asked her whether that was the secret of her glow. What she said stunned me, she said. “I have been preparing for the wedding from the day he proposed by ensuring that I am at my healthiest best. I have been exercising, eating right and even practicing yoga so that I have the glow right. I know most people would focus on cake, gowns etc. But I think as the bride, I should look good and be happy.”
I was stuck by her words; it is true we spend hours agonizing about the wedding dress, which while important is not as important as how mentally prepared you are to get married. What is more, a grand wedding while very pleasing is not worth all that stress. It is better to focus on the marriage. Yes, you should have a fabulous dress like these ones given here which are classy examples of vintage dressing styles, but that is not to be fussed over. Yes, you should have a great cake and even look at unusual wedding cakes designs, but definitely not fight over it. Yes, the groom speeches should be good and you can get some from groom wedding speech examples, but it is the intention of the groom that is more important. But the whole thing should be a smooth operation instead of one that causes you to stress out and feel panicky.
In fact, we have seen brides almost alienate their friends and family over what flowers should be on the table or what favors should be given in the goodie bag to guests who attend the wedding. While a good wedding is something that guests will remember, is it not important for the bride to enjoy the wedding?
My friend V outlined what she and her fiance were doing as part of their marriage preparations (note that she said marriage and not wedding)
They had decided that the wedding was important but not so important that it will make them fight, lose sleep over or pick sides on
They would decide everything about the wedding at one go and then start by focusing on the real issues
They would talk about money and how they are going to manage it
They would take time to explore their feelings on kids and when to have them
Both of them would spend time with the others family to become familiar and friendly with them
Friends would be important but they would respect the others’ friends even if they did not like them that much
They would work on becoming healthy mentally and physically. He had opted for martial arts while she had gone for yoga.
The budget that they had fixed for the wedding was something that they would not exceed unless both agreed upon it.
I was stunned and happy to see such a balanced approach to a wedding and a marriage.